From America January 27, 2010
Posted by Liz Mead in : Sunrises , 1 comment so farI’m in California and have left it until the last minute to get a shot of a perfect sunrise. I’m capturing 16 perfect Sunrise photos to act as metaphors of my expanding into new spaces.
I can picture the colour spilling out behind the filigree branching of that skyward bold old oak tree on the corner of 15th and McDonald Street Santa Rosa.
So each morning I’m up and ready in my thermals, jeans jumper and joggers only to find that saintly rosey sky leaden with rain clouds and hiding its splendid colour.
OK so I could have been more strategic and planned to photograp
h on a dry sunny morning – perhaps even a snowy tipped one whilst in Detroit. But how did I know it would be raining for 10 straight days.
I guess I was too busy actually expanding rather than thinking about or recording it. (And yes I had chocolate when I shouldn’t have!)
My trip was and has been primarily to touch base with my twin; for me a source of parallel thinking, feeling and insight. The process of checking in with her always crazily, uncannily provides a parallel insight into how we’re going. It’s sort of a life co-coaching exercise.
I had the great benefit of meeting some fabulous people whilst away. Friends of my sister who are into similar mental and work-based pursuits. I recorded some podcasts with them and will store them on my All in 10 minutes blog.
We had great talks about stories we tell ourselves and how they stack up. How we use metaphors and the power of thoughts and language to steer us toward or away from the path of individuation and wholeness. How the intrapersonal communication is informed by those internal stacked stories. And how our cells store memories of traumas, joys, grief and phobic reactions. I’ll group the talks as a podcast series called “internally communicating”.
My dear friend James who is a professional podcaster would be horrified at the quality of some of the audio – so it won’t be good enough to store on a professional site such as his. I searched word press to find the plug-in podcast function – only to find my childhood guru “Mighty mouse” as the marketing icon. Now if that’s not a personal sign of a sunrise I don’t know what is.
So Here I come to save my day – rain or not, with a final blog from America
Mediation – and the art of being Cate January 17, 2010
Posted by Liz Mead in : Into the new space , add a commentMy sister is an excellent mediatior. She always has been. Her nature suits the skill.
She is a Libran like me as we are twins. We are therefore guilty of, or succumb to the same tendencies which can be, at times strengths and at other times weaknesses.
One of the strengths is the ability to read others quickly and stay centred when dealing with competing needs and drivers. Cate is brilliant at this. Ever since she was little she’s been able to pour smooth balm over troubled waters. Or is it smooth water over troubles, or trouble over water, either way it banks up well. She used to have to do it to live in peace – something she craved deeply; she now does it for a living and is putting money in the bank.
In many instances what she does is to help people communicate better: about what is going wrong, what needs to happen to make it better and what steps they need to take to get there.
Recently she helped a young 14 year old woman and her mum find a way forward out of an impasse of confusion, frustration and despair. And they did so together with respect. The end result was that both of them turned their life around.
The real trick is:
- Find out what’s driving the conflict – the things underneath what people say they want and then
- Peel back the covering layers to get to the heart of it – the needs, concerns desires and fears associated with the problematic conflict
What happpens is that people are then able see the problem that they face is a problem that they share. For it holds the same need, the same concern and the same inherent desire. To get resolution instead of fighting they find they’re working together to the same end. To point out what it is sitting right before someone’s eyes. People are often too close to the problem to see not only what’s going one, but also how to move forward.
I’ve been holidaying with her and her family and have had the great fortune to drop back into our twin world of shared insights, dreams, aims, ambitions, desires, fears and blindspots. As a gesture of praise to this mediating skill- I’ve painted 3 canvases that will sit on her office reception wall. The canvases are a triptych of her company logo. It is also a representation of the three phases a person may undergo in a mediation process:
- acknowledging the painful wound and combative situation you’re in which is grinding you to a halt
- moving through the shit-stirring and clarification of what you want – which can be messy and painful but is absolutely necessary
- finding your own resilience and courage will result in clarity and a way forward. This is the “aha” I can see what you want and what I want and I can see that we can both win and I want that for you as well.
I’m glad Cate likes the painting. She’s always been my greatest cheer squad, and accepts that the gesture is as valuable as the pictorial output. I am arguably her greatest cheer squad too, for I deeeply respect her clarity of thought, generosity of spirit and skill of communication.
The ROI on 2009 January 1, 2010
Posted by Liz Mead in : Coming Back , add a commentWhat did I do this year? How do I assess it? And should I?
We often end the year feeling a short fall or feeling chuffed with how we did, we invariably feel hungover.
I figured instead of making some new random wish I’d do a bit of an audit to determine any personal growth achieved and any outstanding. If i did well on the investment I’d play it forward -if not I’d have the bones of a new game plan. An investment strategy for 2010.
Here we go..
- i paid off my debts (a plus)
- i finished the renovations (now what do I do?)
- i began to desire (sigh)
- i shut one door even though Icouldn’t see the nextone open (now what do i do?)
- i started and dropped local theatre membership (what was i thinking?)
- i started and finished psychological and career counselling sessions (and i’ve gotta tell you there are some nutters and some genius operators out there)
- i learnt 8 good truths about myself (now what do I do?)
- i began the year with my elder sister and finished it with my twin – separated by an ocean (a blissful plus)
- i celebrated the birth of two darling babies to two dear friends (a plus)
- i painted 8 paintings (still arguing over the merit)
- i tweeted countless times (still think tweeting is silly)
- i blogged somewhat less (and was richer for the silence)
- i failed to tell some people i loved them (unforgivable)
- i realised what a great mother figure my aunt was (a plus)
- i interviewed dozens of people for 10 minutes and set up a new blog (a plus)
- i discovered Hafez (a necessity)
- i ceased the incessant chatter to bloke (he was richer for the silence)
- i cemented my personal style (oh sure)
- i drank too much wine (but then promptly drank some more so that bottom line is blotto)
- i started exercising and lost 2 dress sizes (left them hanging on someone elses’ coat-hanger)
- i changed my hair style (working up to going grey when i’m sixty)
- i celebrated my birthday alone (sigh)
- i failed to join a personal gym (noooooooo dissonance there)
So all in all – a reasonable return on investment
Wiser? Nup. Richer? Yep. Fatter? Nup. Happier? I think so.
Happy new year - I get it
And right back atya – if anyone is reading